This lesson is for the drivers I encountered this morning.
If you need to park, and there are approximately 40,000 empty parking spaces nearby (especially since there’s no one there but you and I,) please do not choose the spot next to me, where I am quite obviously unloading two children, two backpacks, and one lunchbox. It’s creepy, and dangerous. You had 40,000 other options to choose from.
The law of merging: when a freeway goes from 2 lanes to 1 lane, you merge one and one, one and one, left then right, left then right. See?! Everyone gets a turn! When you decide you’re going to take my turn? You know, to get that ONE CARLENGTH ahead of us… This makes me angry. And trust me, I’m going to do everything in my power to not let you in, should you need to get in my lane later down the freeway. And I’ll enjoy it.
Ok, now YOU… You know who you are. You’re just an f’ing idiot. When you’re on a busy street, busy anyway, but now filled with commuting traffic… You do not STOP and DRIVE IN REVERSE, because you missed that particular driveway. YOU ARE AN IMBECILE!! Then you go and block THREE lanes of busy traffic to do a sort of reverse three-point maneuver to get into that driveway. All three lanes of completely stopped traffic thank you.
Thank you. Carry on.
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