A Break?

There’s got to be a break in here somewhere, right?

We just found out from Poe’s friend that the grocery store job fell through. The one he’s terribly overqualified for, but he needs a job? Yeah, not hiring. That was sort of our ace in the hole. He could work nights and still look for a job in his actual career.

Not gonna happen.

Which means we’ve got nothing with 6 weeks to go on unemployment.

There is another choice, which we’re fighting against tooth and nail. My closing my business and going to work full time while he stays home and manages the kids.

This is not the right choice for us for a whole host of reasons. On the other hand, there’s no money left. And we’ve paid enough ahead to maybe have Cobra through September. And then – nothing.

I don’t WANT to close my business. I don’t have a bunch of clients, but the ones I’ve had are very very happy with my work! I can do this!!

I’m so frustrated. All the things we worked towards are gone. All our savings is gone. All our debt elimination progress is gone. Our credit is back in the toilet. All those years of work, with nothing to show for it. All gone.

I’ve got one last thing that I might have to go for. Our retirement. I haven’t touched it because we’ll take such a hit on the money due to taxes. I don’t know. That’s money I’ve been saving for retirement since I was 18 years old with my first 401K. And if we tap it – it’s gone.

God, I hate this. I hate it. I feel desperate and stupid. I shouldn’t feel stupid, I’ve done nothing wrong, but I do.