I’m going through something I’m a little anxious about. Nearly the whole thing is TMI, so you know… Don’t read if discussions about the workings of the female body make you squeamish.
I’ve mentioned before that I have a birth defect called uterine didelphys… Essentially I have two uteri, and two cervices. Aside from some obvious issues that has, I also have the potential for lots of fibroids and cysts, as well as kidney malformations. I’ll save you the full story. But here’s what’s going on now.
2 1/2 years ago, I went to planned parenthood. Due to our insurance nightmare, I still wasn’t insured. However, I had suddenly started bleeding profusely during sex. Like, a lot. Like, do I need to go to the ER, puddle, kind of bleeding. So I contacted Planned Parenthood, and due to our financials, they could see me at no cost. So, I had my double pap smears. I was told that I had a cyst wrapped around one cervix, and the other cervix was very vascular. So, that’s the reason for the blood. They refused to remove the cyst. I was told that I just get to live with the blood during sex. Yay.
Someone called me with my pap results. They were abnormal, see you in three years. I said, “No, wait. I understand that when a pap is normal, the new guidelines is to followup in three years… But you just said it was NOT NORMAL. So shouldn’t that be tracked closer than three years?” They said, “No. Three years is our policy.” For 2 1/2 years, I’ve just sort of lived with the anxiety and tried not to think about it.
Eventually we resolved our health insurance stupidity. As an aside, Covered California, and Medi-Cal could not get their shit together, and you know, talk to each other, which put us in a limbo that neither entity could resolve. I had to PAY the tax penalty. Pardon the whine, but that’s not fair. Anyhoo.
Jay and I decided, once we were insured, to get physicals because it had been so very long. Even though I am a woman, and will certainly need a gynecologist for ongoing preventative measures, I was still required to get a referral from the regular doctor. (I think that, too, is idiotic.) But no! The regular doctor decides he’ll do my pelvic. Yeah. So, after a moment in my head of WTF! I DID NOT GROOM FOR THIS, I told the nurse that she’ll need a second setup. I have extra body parts, and will need a second pap smear. *Blink*Blink* “Let discuss this with the doctor.” Yeah, lady. Discuss it all you want. Won’t make the secondary parts disappear. Doctor comes in, we go through the whole spiel. “I think I’m going to refer you to a gynecologist.”
No shit, Sherlock.
So. I finally had that appointment. Apparently the guy’s pretty popular, it took a few months to get in, since I didn’t have an emergency. I only had like 5 minutes with the dude, which I was not pleased with. I’m complicated, I have a complicated history. But, the good news is… He’s had several patients with my abnormality. He even said, without my mentioning it, “I’ll fight with the insurance for you, too.” (I usually get charged for the second body parts, because apparently insurance only covers the original one – body part that is. Try fighting them on it, and it’s like you’re talking in Greek. Because it’s not possible to have more body parts in their eyes – there’s no code for that, you see.)
And yes, I was right about Planned Parenthood being WRONG. As he said… “Who has been managing your case?” “Well, no one.” “WHY NOT?” (like I’m irresponsible.) “Insurance issues.” “Ohhhh. Did ObamaCare bite you in the ass.” “Yup.”
So – two paps were taken, we’ll have to see how that goes.
This week, I’m getting a mammogram (no issues, just because I’ve hit 40, and it’s time), and a full pelvic ultrasound to see if everything is copacetic – are both uteri functioning? (There’s been some changes in my period, so I’m not sure they are) How am I doing on the fibroids and cysts? Etc. etc… I’m showing some signs that can be attributed to cancer – but can also be attributed to a crapload of other things including early menopause. So – not time to panic. Yet, they’re trying to get me in this week, so who knows.
That’s what’s going on around here.